blue-eyed floozy

Tue, 30 Dec 2008 17:02:20 GMT

don't go breaking my heart

Fri, 26 Nov 2004 08:02:21 GMT

so it's 2:34 am and my worst nightmare has come true: i've stumbled upon the "update livejournal" page.

i can't sleep. i have so much on my mind, i feel like if i sleep i will be wasting precious time that i could be using to think of solutions to everything that is not perfect. or maybe i could be cleaning or reading or looking for a new car or going for a walk or watching cold case files, but all i seem to be capable of at this time is to sit on my ass and type stupid words that won't even count tomorrow because i'm delirious and stressed out.

craziest thing that has happened since i've looked at this thing(lj): my little sister, gina, whose 16, is pregnant- and get this- she is due this sat./sun. fucking insanity, i know. how am i dealing with this you ask? we're all still a a bit in shock. fucking thank god she has a strong ass family to back her up. we all love babies and will embrace this little..uh..situation.

seeing old friends (next to conquering old ambitions) is the highlight of my whole social life. i know i live in the past, but damn, it was so much more awesome being 16 and having nothing to worry about. simple things are so complicated now i feel as if i've been tricked into growing up.

on a lighter note, i turn 21 this weekend. that means i can now hang out at sports bar/grilles to watch the game, shoot some pool and drink pitchers of beer. fuck yeah.

we got the right stuff biiitch.

and yes, my little mood icon gives good head.

the more you drive the less intelligent you are

Mon, 23 Aug 2004 03:36:20 GMT

i'm psyched about my writing class this semsester. i'm only taking one class cause all the fuck i feel like taking right now.

michele is the ultimate rescuer. i adore you. study hard.

my mom bought me the most awesome backpack in the whole world, she rules.

i need some thrift stores and good movies in my life. from this day forward i will not sleep til 12:45 pm and run to work like my life dpends on it.

johnny depp will forever be my dream boy. theres this picture of him in the new in-style and its just beautiful.

oh yeah, and just to make this point again:

people who are obsessed with boys/having a boyfriend/wanting boys to adore them are fucking lame. get real and get a life. life doesn't revolve around how many boys you can get to like you.

goodbye and fuck off.

exactly

Wed, 04 Aug 2004 23:39:45 GMT

people who are obsessed with boys/having a boyfriend/wanting boys to adore them are fucking lame. get real and get a life. life doesn't revolve around how many boys you can get to loathe, i mean, like you.

i missed my asshole friends at cw, i'm so happy to be back and working again.

school soon, barf. i wish my mom would take me school clothes shopping.

big al i miss you.

miami weekends rule- just like vacation.

anyone want to sell me their car?

gonna get by with a little help from my friends

Sun, 18 Jul 2004 06:25:47 GMT

god damn i love & miss you. come home & complete me.<3

barf

Sun, 18 Jul 2004 04:16:43 GMT

headaches. fucking headaches. i wish they would all go away and drown themselves.

school & job soon. it's been far too long since i've done something productive.

anchorman has the best one-liners. i'm going to adopt their lingo.

fuckin a i need some money.

obviously i'm extremely bored, hence the journal update.

Fri, 18 Jun 2004 06:43:27 GMT

What is your name?: Amy
Are you named after anyone?: i was supposed to be Galaxia but, thank god, my mother doesnt smoke crack
What's your screename?: marthaisgodd
Would you name a child of yours after you?: no
If you were born a member of the opposite sex what would your name be?: James duh
If you could switch names with a friend who would it be?: yeah her name is Lucky
Are there any mispronounciations/typos that ppl do w/ your name constantly?: not really, well some people call me amy electric fingers and it really pisses me off
Would you drop your last name if you became famous?: no way thats not right

Basics
------
Your gender:: im not so sure anymore
Straight/Gay/Bi:: a-sexual
Single?: single as i was the day i was born
If not, do you want to be?: i wouldn't have it any other way
Birthdate:: 11/28/83
Your age:: 20
Age you act:: i guess
Age you wish you were:: 18
Your height:: 5'5
Eye color:: blue/grey
Happy with it?:i like to talk shit but i would never change them
Hair color:: luscious & brown
Happy with it?: yep but i wish it were longer
Lefty/righty/ambidextrous:: righty
Your living arrangement:: my room, my house is full of hoes
Your family:: they are all whack-jobs and i love them for it.
Have any pets?: 3 dogs & 4 cats
Whats your job?: part time childrens prison guard
Piercings?: ears
Tattoos?: yeah but lets not talk about them
Obsessions?: magazines, thrift stores, organization, purses/bags
Addictions?: diet coke
Do you speak another language?: i know some german yeah
Have a favorite quote?: "i'm just an ordinary guy with nothin to lose"
Do you have a webpage?: no

Deep Thoughts About Life and You in it
--------------------------------------
Do you live in the moment?: no
Do you consider yourself tolerant of others?: at times
Do you have any secrets?: i guess
Do you hate yourself?: no. everyone else, yes.
Do you like your handwriting?: not really
Do you have any bad habits?: yeah, talking to and staying friends with people who are just out of their minds
What is the compliment you get from most people?: you're funny, you have nice eyes, you're friends hott
If a movie was made about your life, what would it be called?: hot, cold, dead.
What's your biggest fear?: losing my family
Can you sing?: um yeah. im the next janis. ask my car's interior
Do you ever pretend to be someone else just to look cool?: my number one priority
Are you a loner?: yeah i guess
What are your #1 priorities in life?: being healthy, going to school, taking care of my family, being on my own
If you were another person, would you be friends with you?: yes definitely
Are you a daredevil?: nope
Is there anything you fear or hate about yourself?: i wish i could relate better to people i guess
Are you passive or agressive?: i dont know, it changes too often
Do you have a journal?: yes, she is my only true friend.
What are your greatest strengths and weaknesses?: strength: i didn't kill myself weakness: letting stupid things people say really get to me
If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?: i dont know, nothing. well i could use some boobs
Do you think you are emotionally strong?: yes very.
Is there anything you regret doing/not doing in life?: i don't regret anything except letting some people walk all over me
Do you think life has been good so far?: could have been worse, the best has yet to come
What is the most important lesson you've learned from life?: cherish every moment you have with your friends/family they can be gone with a blink of an eye
What do you like the most about your body?: i like my skin color
And least?: i dont know i dont really care about
Do you think you are good looking?: im no gisele
Are you confident?: no
What is the fictional character you are most like?: seymour glass
Are you perceived wrongly?: yeah. just cause im polite doesnt mean i like you

Do You...
Smoke?: no
Do drugs?: no
Read the newspaper?: no
Pray?: no
Go to church?: no
Talk to strangers who IM you?: no
Sleep with stuffed animals?: no
Take walks in the rain?: no
Talk to people even though you hate them?: no
Drive?: yeah barf
Like to drive fast?: no

Would or Have You Ever?
-----------------------
Liked your voice?: its all right
Hurt yourself?: no
Been out of the country?: nope
Eaten something that made other people sick?: no
Been in love?: yes his name is buddy
Done drugs?: yeah
Gone skinny dipping?:barf
Had a medical emergency?: i had food poisoning once
Had surgery?: no
Ran away from home?: one time i ran down my street looking for a new life. i came home because it was hott outside
Played strip poker?: no sluts
Gotten beaten up?: no
Beaten someone up?: lno
Been picked on?: when i was younger i suppose
Been on stage?: no
Slept outdoors?: yep
Thought about suicide?: such an unfortunate subject. anyone who does that shit is an asshole.
Pulled an all nighter?: yeah
If yes, what is your record?: yeah penis game rules
Gone one day without food?: i dont know, probably when i was sick or something
Talked on the phone all night?: yeah when i was like 16
Slept together with the opposite sex w/o actually having sex?: no i must bone 24/7
Slept all day?: yep
Killed someone?:ask me in 5 years/when im in switzerland
Made out with a stranger?: yeah
Had sex with a stranger?: not a "stranger" per se
Thought you're going crazy?: yess
Kissed the same sex?: yes
Done anything sexual with the same sex?: i didnt do anything
Been betrayed?: yeah only by stupid little girls though
Had a dream that came true?: dont think so
Broken the law?: yeah man all day everyday
Met a famous person?: dont think so
Have you ever killed an animal by accident?: no
On purpose?: no
Told a secret you swore you wouldn't tell?: yeah haha
Stolen anything?: once i ate an apple in winn dixie while shopping
Been on radio/tv?: i was on the news twice
Been in a mosh-pit?: i live in the pit
Had a nervous breakdown?: yep
Bungee jumped?: no
Had a dream that kept coming back?: nope

Beliefs
-------
Belive in life on other planets?: dunno
Miracles?: miracles happen everyday
Astrology?: i thought that shit was proven
Magic?: no
God?: fuck that lying bitch
Satan?: no
Santa?: no
Ghosts?: no
Luck?: uh
Love at first sight?: no
Yin and yang (that good cant exist w/o bad)?: dunno
Witches?: no
Easter bunny?: no
Believe its possible to remain faithful forever?: i guess? sounds boring
Believe theres a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow?: no
Do you wish on stars?: no

:
Do you have any gay/lesbian friends?: i dont know
Who is your best friend?: jessica michele are the closest. i dont like to admit that i love people but i do
Who's the one person that knows most about you?: i don't even know, i tell everyone a different story. sometimes i think someone knows me and then they say something that totally shows they dont. kinda makes me sad
What's the best advice that anyone has ever given to you?: unto thyne own self be true. i think i fucked that up, but thats all you need in life and everything else will work itself out.
Your favorite inside joke?: way too many
Thing you're picked on most about?: my dykeness
Who's your longest known friend?: michelle yount
Newest?: dunno
Shyest?: i dont know, cara, myself, jessica
Funniest?: i dont know. i need to know more funny people
Sweetest?: no one is sweet
Closest?: jaessica, mom
Weirdest?: nicole, tessa
Smartest?: brian, chris
Ditziest?: dunno
Friends you miss being close to the most?: jenny jordan, sarah, shane
Last person you talked to online?: molly
Who do you talk to most online?: no one
Who are you on the phone with most?: no one
Who do you trust most?: no one
Who listens to your problems?: jessica, mom
Who do you fight most with?: miguel?
Who's the nicest?: no one
Who's the most outgoing?: dunno
Who's the best singer?: dunno
Who's on your shit-list?: two very large, very mean people
Have you ever thought of having sex with a friend?: not really
Who's your second family?: never had one
Do you always feel understood?: um no never
Who's the loudest friend?: denise tessa
Do you trust others easily?: no
Who's house were you last at?: i dont know
Name one person who's arms you feel safe in: moms
Do your friends know you?: yeah i guess, one or two do
Friend that lives farthest away:: Cara, michelle, alice

Love and All That
-----------------
Do you consider love a mistake?: uh
What do you find romantic?: nothing
Turn-on?: spanish boys that wanna do it
Turn-off?: skinny white boys
First kiss?: some asshole
If someone u had no interest in had interest in dating u how would u feel?: thats the only time it happens. its gay
Do you prefer knowing someone before dating them or going: no i like to just jump right in
Have u ever wished it was more socially acceptable 4 a girl 2 ask a guy out: i dont care
Have you ever been romantically attracted to someone physically unattractive: yeah
Do you think the opposite sex finds you good looking?: no
What is best about the opposite sex?: they're almost always laid back and appreiate good comedy
What is the worst thing about the opposite sex?: theyre idiots
What's the last present someone gave you?: my mom gave me presents when i wasnt feeling good
Are you in love?: with life, yes.
Do you consider your significant other hot?: my wifes a looker i suppose

Who Was the Last Person...
--------------------------
That haunted you?: uh
You wanted to kill?: no one
That you laughed at?: lucky, jessica
That laughed at you?: jessica, lucky
That turned you on?: jordans dad hotttt
You went shopping with?: jessica
That broke your heart?: no one breaks my heart
To disappoint you?: hmm well...
To ask you out?: thats so middle school
To make you cry?: my thoughts
To brighten up your day?: no one
That you thought about?: barf
You saw a movie with?: dunno prob. jessica & jar
You talked to on the phone?: my doctor
You talked to through IM/ICQ?: molly
You saw?: gina and apryl
You lost?: the only person i ever lost was my dad

Right This Moment...
--------------------
Are you going out?: no
Will it be with your significant other?: n/a
Or some random person?: no
What are you wearing right now?: pajamas
Body part you're touching right now: elbow on knee
What are you worried about right now?: finishing this horrible survey that is depressing me and making me sleepy
What book are you reading?: quite a few
What's on your mousepad?: nothing, it's black
Use 5 words to describe how you're feeling: misunderstood, sad, nostalgic, tired
Are you bored?: see above
Are you tired?: yeah tired of this shit survey
Are you talking to anyone online?: no
Are you talking to anyone on the phone?: no
Are you lonely or content?: lonely is content
Are you listening to music?: no

Wed, 16 Jun 2004 03:18:19 GMT

i need a vacation man. i need to get out and see real people. i miss michele and molly and other mother fuckers.

i just signed up for school. i'm psyched to actually be doing something, but just the thought of waking up before noon is giving me a headache.

i miss bff & stacy & ny. i wanna go baaaaaack.

tessa<3

yeah

Mon, 07 Jun 2004 10:52:43 GMT

i can't stay asleep for more then four hours at a time. when i wake up i can't sit still, i am forced to be productive and become inspired. i've gotten a lot done (creatively and not) these last few days thanks to my new sleeping condition. i've read most of the bell jar, i'm avoiding reading the ending. i hate finishing a book, i always end up missing the characters and feel the need to write a sequel just so i know they'll be ok.

in other news: my car is a peice of purple shit-it is currently not in service, i need new ballet slippers, cheap makeup rules, i love trash piles, i got a temporary job at my old old job, make love(with me), not war.

noodlebrain

Fri, 04 Jun 2004 02:50:44 GMT

you know what's really annoying? everyone.

if i didn't sleep all day, everyday, life wouldn't be so bad. i need to get to the library, oh yes and i need a job. i wish i could sign up for school right now so i have something worthwhile to look forward to.

has anyone seen Super Size? god that shit is disgusting. it definitely made me change my habits.

i need to move. i want a change in seasons & reasonable public transportation.

i <3 the bell jar. i can't believe i just started reading it. i wish i read it in high school when i was supposed to. all those books we had to read in 9th grade are such good books. i feel like a fool for not giving them a chance before.

REPEAT

Tue, 01 Jun 2004 17:48:45 GMT

4 bad habits:
1. biting my nails
2. sleeping all day
3. drinking too much then complaining when i can't stop peeing
4. hating everyone

4 things you'd never wear:
1. white sneakers
2. khaki anything
3. anything that shows anything
4. a shirt that says "fabulous"

4 things you are thinking about right now:
1. the love of my life and i both share the same mental disease. cute huh
2. evergreen college: should i stay or should i go?
3. the fact that i sleep on a cushion
4. diet coke is my cocaine

4 things you have done today:
1. saw the doc
2. ate salad
3. re-examined every magazine i own
4. talked to people online

last 4 things you bought:
1. salad
2. magazines
3. thrift store shit i don't need
4. drink

4 people you would like to spend time with:
1. mom
2. brother & sisters
3. like i would ever admit this shit..
4.

4 bands/artists most people don't know you like:
1. mariah carey
2. dr dre
3. hendrix
4. i dont know

4 drinks you regularly drink:
1. diet coke
2. water
3.
4.

4 random facts about yourself:
1. i sleep on a cushion that smells like old beer
2. my floor says "butt sex"
3. the most fun i've had in a long time: the what not to wear marathon last night
4. i like to clean things

Mon, 17 May 2004 06:09:19 GMT

i would like to thank everyone who helped a poor white girl get trashed last night. you truly made my evening.

being 15 yards away from freddie mercury's pants didn't hurt either.

i spent alot of god damn money this weekend, a whole paycheck, in fact. now it's over and i'm back to my normal life.

you don't make friends with salad.

i told her i'd rather be a dead cat.

Fri, 14 May 2004 05:55:07 GMT

i <3 payday. payday=leaving my house.

the people i work with are fucking funny.

i've read three books in five days, i'm on a roll.

library+work tomorrow.

what's her face on cheers had the best blouse on tonight, shit.

i can't wait to go book/magazine/shoe/clothes shopping this weeekend.

fucking find me that jimi hendrix graphic tee.

under pressure

Tue, 27 Apr 2004 11:16:31 GMT

its fucking great to be reminded of what life's all about. late night/early morning talks with good friends. remembering crazy times and making new memories. i want to thank my friend for being there and not letting any kind of temporary bullshit get in the way. that's what friendships are about.

i'm feeling really nostalgic, like i need a reunion or something (but i'm sure once i get some sleep i'll reconsider).

so whose going to leave this hell some call florida and move to ny with me? if you have any kind of desire in your heart you'll love it there. please come. it will rule.

i love you dad you're in everything i do.

the world owes me so fuck you

Sun, 18 Apr 2004 07:09:25 GMT

i don't mean to sound like everyone else in the world, but jesus christ i need to get out of here. i'm so bored with life.

i need some fucking optimism injected into me before i rot.

the new d12 video rules.

my cat just peed in the bathtub and is trying to bury it into the fiberglass. my chiuaua is lying on my bed licking his you know what. even my pets are disfunctional freaks.

ps im only listening to cheap trick and deep purple from now on.

never take me home

Thu, 15 Apr 2004 23:23:47 GMT

you know life sucks when you feel more at home at the library than you do in your own house. all i can do is sleep and hate. sleep and hate. if i don't find motivation (or $2000) real quick i'm gonna blow.

Thu, 01 Apr 2004 04:34:18 GMT

NY is fucking great. living out of a suitcase sucks. i want my own place asap, please send me hundreds of dollars. i miss my family and my pets but i sooo don't miss driving, walking everywhere rules. if your life sucks come to ney york & everything will be all right.

no sleep til brooklyn

Sun, 14 Mar 2004 02:33:50 GMT

our shit is already up there, we bought our tickets, theres no tunring back now. i had the best dream last night. i know i'm doing the right thing by moving up there. soon my life will move forward instead of run in place.

moving on makes me think twice about the people ive lost touch with or gave up on. so many people ive missed out on. leaving home gives you perspective. now i know what i want and i wont pass it up next time something amazing comes my way.

going away party: next sunday (3/21) afternoon at Colohachee Park in ft. lauderdale. we'll be barbecuing, if you don't eat meat bring your own damn food. THIS PARTY IS NOT OPTIONAL. RSVP asap. peace<3

find a jar at a bob

Sun, 07 Mar 2004 06:17:15 GMT

brooklyn in 3 weeks. s. fl can suck it

i miss victoria. i hate growing up and i hate that things will never be the same.

peace

Sun, 22 Feb 2004 00:54:31 GMT

i'm gettin my ass outta here. i'll be outta here in 3 weeks. donations will be accepted. i love you bitches and hoes. <3 peace

Tue, 03 Feb 2004 01:43:31 GMT

after this week i'm going back to isolation. i am far more creative and content that way.

i can't eat sleep or think until my sister comes home. i wish she knew what hell she's putting us through.

tessa i love you. feel better<3

i'm going back to my old job and i'm getting my school shit in order, it's been too long.

dad, i love you. you're in everything i do.

fuck off

she's so hott i love her a lot she's got everything i haven't got

Mon, 26 Jan 2004 08:26:27 GMT

i miss downtown i'm moving there.

i suck at school i don't know why i'm even enrolled this semester. fucck

i'm madly in love, too bad i'm so a-sexual.

everyone should grow out their hair and straighten up.

once again i must find a job. bbw fucked up.

seeing old faces downtown made me so happy. i need more nights like this (minus dirty look from fatherly roommates)

ahhh

Sat, 03 Jan 2004 07:16:07 GMT

save the drama for your mama.

still ballin til the day i die

Sat, 03 Jan 2004 06:44:20 GMT

new years isn't the same being sober (or in florida).

i'm going to suck it up from now on and be a pleasant person. SIKE

attention michele: call me hoe, i miss you

school starts this week. barf.

molly & jay please call me so we can make plans.

i live to laugh. if you don't you're an idiot.

i think i want to be on SNL when i grow up.

i love victoria & ryan. i don't care what stupid things they do, they mean a lot to me. take that assholes.

i wish life were more about what's, rather than how's and why's.

being sane isn't all it's cracked up to be.

THROW ME AWAY

she made all my bathroom wishes come true.

Fri, 26 Dec 2003 16:07:50 GMT

roomie, you rule & i love you. thanks for the new poop room.

happy birthday jar.

christmas ruled.